It is one of those sadder evenings, that I needed to raise my spiritual energies and read something rejuvenating... of course, my favourite recourse was some Buddhist literature... I wonder that why is it that I end up having such bouts of sadness... I ended up thinking hard as to when was the last time I genuinely felt happy or felt at peace? Knowing my mind very well and being fully aware of its capacity to wander to innumerable avenues, i decided to stick to only one thought!! and the thought was - 'how will be become peaceful in the mind?'
Am I the only one suffering from such bouts of emptiness? because everywhere I look, people appear happy and jovial. But then I wonder, is there something more than that which merely meets the eye? A very practical friend of mine, who I have barely seen happy once told me, keep yourself busy, because an empty mind is a devil's workshop, and the evil thoughts will eat you up from within. I tried that idea, never had a single idle moment, initially it worked, I had no sad bouts and I became submerged in various tasks. However, as a few months went by, the sad bouts relapsed (like a cancerous tumor). In the middle of drafting, researching and even discussions, I felt empty. When I hit the bed, after a fruitful day at work and some little, but good time spent with family and friends, I felt like I was cheating myself. Strangely so, the very same friend also broke down one fine evening, constantly suppressing her thoughts, only got her to the edge to finally break down.
So what is that we really need to be peaceful? To be busy? To be happy? From the little Buddhist Literature that I have read, in my aspiration to one day take the path of Buddhism, I have noticed this constant reiteration on training the mind. Apparently (and I choose that word, because I am still working on it) if you train your mind to be free from all desires, is when one will experience eternal peace. Does that in simple terms means free yourself of expectations. I have heard that 'expectations are the root cause of all heartache'. But then again, isn't it easier said than done? As a human mind, we are trained since childhood to expect and fulfill expectations simultaneously. Is freeing the mind of expectations/desires an easy task? I guess not.
However, to free the mind of all desires, in my opinion, is not only difficult but also very confusing. One may be deceived to feel that they are slowly freeing their minds of desire, however, it could only be a suppression. This way of life as beautiful and rewarding it may sound surely is an uphill task, that demands a lot of meditation and training. However, the fruit that we reap from the seeds sown during this training will most definitely be the sweetest.
Nicely written.
ReplyDeletePersonally I believe there is nothing like sadness without any reason. You just need to introspect more for the correct reasons. Most of the times complexities in thoughts/actions, is mostly the major cause of sadness. The more you don't know what are you doing/why are you doing, the more unhappy, insecure you'll feel.
Aah! that 'keep yourself busy' thing. Personally I also applied in my life when I was going through the worst phase of my life some time in early last year. I know that 'being busy' never helped me to feel any better but surely it helped me to pass the time. And as I always believe that nothing lasts forever, so did that phase. I would recommend the same thing to anyone to make himself busy like hell only if he is also passing similar phase, not to make him fell better but to pass the time so that a different phase starts in the life. Therefore finally everything boils down to the time.
When the things are not going in favor of the people then, given how hopeful this human species is, tries to find someone who can fix the shit. And in those times in most of the cases he finds himself devoting to appease the all powerful, all knowing imaginary God. He starts believing that probably he is the only one who can fix that. I suppose it is very natural to win or lose in any game. And in the numerous games of life, why not accept your win or defeat and get over with it.
Expectations are the root cause of all the heartache. Correct. But can you imagine to live along with other humans and isolate yourself from very natural basic thing of civilization - expectations and their fulfillment. I think not. Only solution is to live lonely life on some all isolated island.
Meditation only helps in putting more and more clarity in thoughts and actions. But it is not a guarantee to free you from the desires and expectations. As already said, the only way to get rid of them is to isolate yourself from every possible thing which you love/hate/attached with, which needs a exceptionally strong desire to achieve the above said thing. Are you ready to do that?
PS: I might act like a philosopher giving so bookish philosophies here which are already said a zillion times, but believe me these are the ones which are very practical. Ignore bad English/Grammar issues as I have already enrolled to take the lessons.