Fearsome Future!

Where anything exists/lives, fear is bound to exist… In the animal world, fear is only of surviving – surviving from other more powerful animals, surviving in adverse food/weather conditions… But in the world of human beings, fear is just not restricted to survival… the biggest fear, I have experienced and have seen most people suffer from is the fear of the unknown… a very wise person once said that “change is the only constant”… most people would be aware of this..  I know about this one too, but then when the only thing certain and constant in our lives is ‘change’ why is the future/ the unknown/ the surprise - a source of constant fear in our lives… people chose to live miserable lives because they do not want to leave their comfort zones, they do not want to leave the familiar…

Fear of the unexpected and unknown forces us to live miserably and we very well plunge into this temptation, blaming all of it on our emotions, love, blah blah blah…! But is something that makes you feel miserable, does not let you grow, makes you unsure of you nice self really love or true emotions…? Isn’t it more of something which is a habit which we refuse to abandon and therefore loosely term it love… why can we not gather the courage to shun the miserable and just be strong enough to face the unknown.. Isn’t there a possibility that the unknown surprises us by being better than the known…

Yes, agreed that a known devil is better than an unknown devil… But is it that the change that we are expecting, these unknown encounters necessarily devilish… can they not be good! How do we reject this pessimism about the future and fill it with optimism… make our selves believe that even the unknown or should I say that the unusual can also be positive and better for our future.. -  A refreshing breeze of goodness…. 

Need to be in LOVE...

Long time since I posted anything... actually have so much on my mind, I am not sure what all to post and what all to leave out... So I hear a friend say this when we were discussing a few personal love problems that most women commonly face after a break-up at a marriagable age... "Some people just feel the need to love and be loved all the time... that's how some girls roll..."

Last weekend I went to see this play called 'Hum-Safar'.... It was a play of a couple divorced after 15 years and the impact the divorce has not only on their lives but also people around them... After going through a break-up of a relation 8 years long and with chances to go back, I find myself in excatly the same shoes as the couple in the play... For people like me who are dreamers and believers, being in love is a constant need... does anyone of you feel the same need....? However, I keep wondering... is it possible to be constantly in love even without having someone to shower your love on... Is it possible to be in love without being constantly showered with love.... I wonder!!

Heard these very deep lines in the play by the very great Gulzar saahab that I want to share with my almost non-existant blog readers.... hahahhaha!!

Aadatein bhi ajeeb hoti hai,

Sans lena bhi kaisi aadat hai,

jiye jana bhi kya rawaiyat hai,

koi aahat nahi badan mein...

kahin koi saya nahi hai aankhon mein,

Paaon bay-hiss hain, Chaltay jaatay hain...

Ik safar hai jo behta rehta hai,

Kitnay Barson se, Kitni sadiyon se,

Jiye jaatay hain, Jiye jaatay hain

Aadatein bhi ajeeb hoti hain..!!

New Years!!

Well.. here we are at the beginning of a brand new year... a new year means new opportunities new horizons and quite some changes in the year... I wish I could really leave back many of the things that have happened in the last year and give many things a fresh beginning... do you feel the same?

so what are your resolutions for the new year??

No worries, it's just snow flurries!

It was yesterday - My first experience of snow flurries... Living in London (or a big city) indeed does teach a lot of things... the diehard romantic that I am, this morning when I looked outside my ultra-modernised glass office – snow flurries – beautiful – like a fairy-tale ... my heart starts pumping, feel the adrenaline rush, feet turn cold and can barely breathe... funny right what snow flurries can do to a person... but only if it was as limited as snow flurries... Trying to come out of a really long term relationship can really make you very silly and weird in front of others... Living with a sense of security although adolescence, I suddenly feel the void and being single does not seem as fancy as other singles make it look... My romantic side just pops up when something so beautiful as snow I see, all I could think of as I looked out of the window was how and when will I have 'that' standing next to me, holding my hand and looking out of the window with me...

Thinking to myself wish it wasn’t that cold outside and I could just dance in the flurry like it's been sent to just add the perfect romantic sparkle to the right moment... at this point in time this just seems to be a utopia, a situation very not possible because even two people connected through the souls (utopian thought again) can think alike or even if think alike at the very same moment...

Suddenly a friend calls me and I snap out of my fairyland... just to realise it's just snow flurries – something that should just be enjoyed and does not require so much contemplation because other issues are waiting to be thought over... utopian world over and reality check on!!

How many of you have felt being suddenly lost in utopian thoughts only to be called and to realise to come back to realism... emotional bents, impracticable love thoughts (for eternity...

Luxurious Jail...

Canary Wharf – a beautiful urbanised concrete jungle, a dream destination for most salaried employees throughout the world! God has been kind and I am one of those few people who get a chance to work in this ultra-modern urbanised set-up, which to me is nothing but a luxurious jail. Most of the big companies have their head offices here and all of us who aspire to work here are nothing but prisoners to the flashy lights and tall structures... Indeed walking into and out of posh looking, well-maintained, tall buildings do give you a feeling/sense of achievement but I feel this is superficial... Have you ever felt the essence of such work...

Everyday when I walk into my office, I give myself a second or two to just look way up to see till hoe high up does the building go and suddenly feel so small and so helpless. Money, ambition, happiness has made me feel happy to be working in these concrete jungles of professional people... But when I give it a deep though I feel I am prisoner of this so-called successful step towards my career building process...

How many of you have felt imprisoned by the jobs they are working into. How many of you wish you could break-free just like me.... I use music to help live a life that I need to for a good career on one hand and be in happy trance like I always wanted to be...

मैं ज़िन्दगि का साथ निभाता चला गया ... हर फ़िक्र को धुऐं मे उडा़ता चला गया...



Morning glories!!

I am based in Delhi where I am working (Delhi=karmabhoomi), but they have made me pack my bags n flown me to London, UK. London at one point in time used to be my favourite destination. Infact, I still feel its a beautiful city. It is a city with beautiful architecture, people who let you be and many more things which are just too much to enlist. Also, working in the concrete jungles yet the most beautiful urbanised area (Canary Wharf) gives a sense of achivement.

However, like the blog and my nature suggest my utopian thoughts do not end. Now that I am in London I wanted to be back in Delhi, a city which at one point of time I really disliked. However, living in Delhi I have begun to like it for various reasons - some being - I believe you must adopt to whereve you live, few friends I have made there and a very special person I met in Delhi, which however is an impossibility. I want to be back there to be with him (something which he does not even want) When I met him he was caring and had time for me and like all 'real' and non-utopian stories everything has changed n now I even believe he does not have time to talk to me or does not want to beacuse he always finds excuses to avoid me/ my calls. Anyway all of us meet such people in life.

 (ps - getting back to the original motto of this post)

A friend came over last night, she had her problems, I have mine, all of us have something or the other bothering us. We sat, talked, shared our worries and slept on a rather awkward note.. but when I woke u this morning, finding a friend, a person who you know you can call one of your 'own people' at this point in time was right there.... Living here for two weeks now I had begun to learn how to enjoy one's own company and live alone (though m a sucker for human beings) but today morning I realised living alone may be good and sharing a flat may have its short comings but the feeling of seeing someone right there to whom you can talk and not jus the walls/tv/laptop to interact with is truly a great feeling...!!

Thank God! for a wonderful family n friends and yes ofcoz 'Jordan' (my X who I will be indebted to forever and love always) I do not mention names because I am not sure if people would like it, hence I will name everyone I write about something. And as always Jordan had to be the first to be mentioned.... and no he isnt the Delhi guy...

First blog post ever!

Not much of a reader, so dont know if I'll be able to do justice to what i wanna write. However, i feel writing is something that comes to one naturally and one need not be a vivid reader to be a good writer. Writing is all about your own imagination..
My love of lyrics is undying... Hindi, English, Urdu, Punjabi... I am a sucker for beautiful lines.. Therefore to begin my first post lines from a song I heard while walking to office this morning... Also suits my profession somewhere, law...
इन्साफ़ तेरे साथ है इल्ज़ाम उथा ले...अपने पे भरोसा है तो ये दाव लगा ले।